THE ALTERNATIVE TEN COMMANDMENTS.


(Updated for modern living)

 *  Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked, and not drone on
    endlessly. (about God, Jesus, the Bible etc. etc.)
 *  Thou shalt not use circular arguments, such as "God exists, because
    the Bible sayeth so, and the Bible is True because it is God's Word."
 *  Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid. 
	See Commandment  1.
 *  Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as "God worketh in mysterious ways"
    when backed into a corner by thine own convoluted logic.
 *  Thou shalt use thine own imagination, and not just quote from the
    Bible all the time.
 *  Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe, nor that thy God
    loveth them.
 *  Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God. He is big enough and
    old enough to looketh after himself.
 *  Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh. Thou canst not know.
 *  Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent and hath no
    contradictions. Thou wouldst be a fool to doeth so.
 *  Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers,
    truck-drivers and shopkeepers that actually did the work required to
    get your food to the table.

Adrian Barnett 1997