A Principal: Leeps tall buildings at a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God. A Vice-principal: Leeps short buildings in a single bound. Holds a locomotive to a draw. Stops a speeding bullet. Walks on water if sea is calm. Talks to God. A Head of Department: Leeps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds. Loses a tug of war with a locomotive. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in an indoor pool. Talks with God if special request granted. A Senior Lecturer: Barely clears a prefabricated hut. Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine. Can fire a speeding bullet. Is a good swimmer. Is occasionally addressed by God. A Lecturer: Leaves marks on the wall when trying to clear buildings. Is run over by a locomotive. Can sometimes handle a gun without hurting himself. Dog paddles. Talks to animals. A Technician: Runs into buildings. Recognises locomotives two times out of three (when sober). Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat with a life jacket. Talks to walls. A Student: Falls over door-steps trying to enter buildings. Says. "Look at the Choo-choo:". Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself/herself. Head Warden: Lifts up buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the track. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Is God. |