American Tie
 (sung to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean)

 A long, long time ago ...
 I can still remember how those Yankees used to make me smile,
 And I knew if they had their goat,
 They'd try to teach us how to vote,
 And maybe they'd be happy for a while.

 But November saw me quiver,
 With every network news delivered,
 Chaos in the republic,
 The blunders were in public.

 I can't remember if I laughed,
 When I read about his ambushed pride,
 But something gored me deep inside,
 The day the voting died.

 So... Why, why this American tie,
 Drove the voters to a frenzy but the ballots were sly.
 Both Bush and Gore are running risky and dry,
 Singing "This'll be the day that I cry,
 This'll be the day that I cry.''

 Did you write the book of jokes,
 And will you have faith in the winning bloke,
 If the Houses tell you so?
 Now do you believe in the voter rolls?
 Can the system save your mortal soul?
 And can you teach me how to count real slow?

 Well I know you're in a sticky mess,
 'Cause I saw you looking real harassed,
 You both ran out of cues,
 Man, I dig those rhythm 'n' blues,

 They were rich and feisty mid-aged bucks,
 Nearly two years later and still in the ruck,
 But I knew they were out of luck,
 The day the voting died.
 We started singing...


 Now for some days we've been on our own,
 Left with a case of the great unknown,
 But that's not how it used to be,
 When Clinton spoke in front of kings and queens,
 In a coat he borrowed from Mr. Bean,
 And a voice that came from Hillary,

 Oh, and while the crowd was looking down,
 Buchanan stole Florida's crown,
 The voting was adjourned,
 No verdict was returned.

 And while recounts were still going slow,
 The whole world stayed up for the show,
 And waited for the news to flow,
 The day the voting died.
 We were singing...