Why Some People Shouldn't Own Computers

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Tech Support: 	"OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. 
		That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type 
		the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: 	"I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: 	"On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: 	"What do you mean?"
Tech Support: 	"'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: 	"I'm not going to do that!"

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Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: 	"I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: 	"Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: 	"But will they be compatible with my computer?"

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A friend once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to the sender when he was finished with it, because the sender needed
to keep it.

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Customer: 	"Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

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A worker for a local ISP told me 'Frequently we receive phone calls that go
something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"'

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Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to
"The Internet."

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Customer: 	"So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: 	"Yeah."
Customer: 	"And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: 	"Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

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Tech Support: 	"All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: 	"That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons --
		I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: 	"Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it
		as meant to --"
Customer: 	"I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in
		icons."
Tech Support: 	"Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file
		cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: 	[click]

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Customer: 	"My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: 	"It crashed?"
Customer: 	"Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: 	"All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: 	"No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
Tech Support: 	"Huh?"
Customer: 	"I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my
		spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: 	"Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: 	[pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

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A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working
fine."

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