IF MEN WERE TO REWRITE THE RULES
  
   Rule # 1 -  Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in
               an argument. All comments become null and void after seven
               days.
   Rule # 2 -  If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls,
               don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
   Rule # 3 -  If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways,  
               and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
               other way.
   Rule # 4 -  It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take  
               those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
   Rule # 5 -  Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know
               how pretty you are?
   Rule # 6 -  Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
   Rule # 7 -  You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
               it done - not both.
   Rule # 8 -  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
               commercials.
   Rule # 9 -  Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do
               we.
   Rule # 10 - Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
               right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
   Rule # 11 - When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the
               off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
   Rule # 12 - Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 




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