A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her
  bedroom.  She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter
  playing with a vibrator.
  "What are you doing?" asked the mother.
  "Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get
  married so this is pretty much my husband."
  The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
  The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and
  upon entering the room, found his daughter using the vibrator.
  "What the hell are you doing?" he asked.
  "His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I'm 40 years old now and
  ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a
  The father walked out of the room shaking his head.
  The next day, the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in
  one hand and the vibrator in the other, watching the football game on TV.

  "What on earth are you doing?" she cried.
  The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a
  beer and watching football with my son-in-law!!"