Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot" I made
the mistake of calling mine "Sex".

      Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to
city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like
a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too!"  Then I
said "But this is for a dog." He said "I don't care what she
looks like."  Then I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex
since I was nine years old." He said "You must have been quite a
kid."

      When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog
with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that
I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for Sex. He
said that every room in the place was for sex.  I said "You don't
understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."  The clerk said "Me
too."

      One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition
began, Another contestant asked me what I was doing.  I told him
that I planned to have Sex in the show.  He said that I should
have sold my own tickets.  When I asked if the show was televised
he called me a pervert.

      I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him
up I said "I've come for my dog."  She said "Which one Spot or
Rover?"  I said "What about Sex?"   She slapped me.  After I
straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good
for her. She slapped me again.

      Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in
all the cages the operator came up to me. I said I'm looking for Sex. 
He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

      When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for
custody of the dog.  I said "Your Honor I had Sex before I was
married."  He said "What's your point, so did I."  I said "But my
wife wants to take Sex away."  He said "That's what happens in a
divorce."

      Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all
over town.  A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing
in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said I was looking
for Sex.......  My case comes up Friday.