INSANITY TEST Number Just how insane are you??
yes
no
1
Do you consider yourself sane?
yes
no
2
Are you willingly taking this test?
yes
no
3
Do you ever talk to plants?
yes
no
4
Do you ever talk to animals?
yes
no
5
Do you ever talk to inanimate objects?
yes
no
6
Do you ever talk to yourself?
yes
no
7
Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with any of the above?
yes
no
8
Do you ever hear voices in your head?
yes
no
9
If so do you ever talk to the voices in your head?
yes
no
10
Do you often not understand what the voices are talking about?
yes
no
11
Have you ever been admitted to an psychiatric institution?
yes
no
12
Have you ever seeked psychiatric help?
yes
no
13
Do you always keep to 30 miles per hour speed limits (whilst driving a car)?
yes
no
14
Do you enjoy setting fire to things?
yes
no
15
If so do you prefer them to be alive?
yes
no
16
Do you enjoy playing with firearms?
yes
no
17
Do you wish people would allow you to play with firearms?
yes
no
18
Are the buckles on your jumper too tight?
yes
no
19
Do you have an unreasonable fear of Aliens?
yes
no
20
Are you an Alien?
yes
no
21
Do you check under your bed before you go to sleep?
yes
no
22
Do people tend to stare at you?
yes
no
23
Do people laugh at you behind your back?
yes
no
24
Is Elvis Presley alive?
yes
no
25
Have you ever flicked through the telephone directory without actually looking for anything?
yes
no
26
Have you ever called directory enquiries without actually looking for anything?
yes
no
27
Do you often watch TV just for the sake of it?
yes
no
28
Would you be shocked to hear that your favourite 'Soap' characters are fictional?
yes
no
29
Do you name your possessions? ( cars, computers, socks? )
yes
no
30
Have you ever tried to play a record backwards to search for hidden messages?
yes
no
31
If so, have you ever found any?
yes
no
32
Do you hear people calling your name on the background of certain records?
yes
no
33
Have you greatly altered your opinion of someone after discovering their star sign?
yes
no
34
Do you avoid walking under ladders?
yes
no
35
Do you purposely walk under ladders to show that you are not superstitious?
yes
no
36
Do you ever change subjects in the middle of a sentence?
yes
no
37
Do you ever forget what you are saying in the middle of a sentance?
yes
no
38
Are you obsessed with death?
yes
no
39
Were you a famous or important person in a past life?
yes
no
40
Have you ever wondered why the fluff in your belly button is a uniform blue?
yes
no
41
Do you sometimes have very violent urges?
yes
no
42
Do you refuse to believe things if they are not scientifically proven?
yes
no
43
Do you believe faithlessly in something which has been scientifically proven?
yes
no
44
Do you refuse to believe in anything but yourself?
yes
no
45
When you are bored do you sometimes light matches just to watch them burn?
yes
no
46
When you are bored do you sometimes set fire to people or animals just to watch them burn.?
yes
no
47
Do you sometimes tessalate complex 3-Dimensional shapes (e.g. not cubes) in your head when you get bored?
yes
no
48
Can you tesselate regular tetrahedrons in your head?
yes
no
49
Do you sometimes tesselate 4 or more Dimensional sphapes in your head when you get bored?
yes
no
50
Have you ever set fire to ants with a magnifying glass.?
yes
no
51
Do you have a strong fear of something which you know does not pose any threat?
yes
no
52
Are you the kind of person who puts used matches back into the matchbox?
yes
no
53
Are you the kind of person who gets really annoyed with people who put used matches back in the box?
yes
no
54
Do you have multiple personalities (or aliases) that act independently?
yes
no
55
If so, do some of your personalities dislike each other?
yes
no
56
Are you cohabiting in your own body?
yes
no
57
Do you believe in killing off the weak to further evolution?
yes
no
58
Do you believe killing is pretty good anyway?
yes
no
59
Are you worried about the result of this test?
yes
no
60
Are you purposely lying to conceal your mental instability or stability?
yes
no
61
Have you ever taken a Purity test?
yes
no
62
If so, do you wish you had a lower score?
yes
no
63
Do you continually talk about test scores ( such as Sanity, Purity, Driving or Urine tests )
yes
no
64
Have you ever purposely tried to lower your Insanity test score?
yes
no
65
Have you ever performed a Insanity test with ulterior motive?
yes
no
66
Have you ever used a Insanity Test as a check list?
yes
no
67
Have you ever used the Insanity test as a shopping list?
yes
no
68
Have you ever opened the back of your television to let all the little people out?
yes
no
69
Have you ever tried to check if the light is still on when the fridge door is closed?
yes
no
70
Does it still worry you?
yes
no
71
Are you afraid of having your picture taken?
yes
no
72
When listening to yourself on audio tape do you refuse to believe that it is you?
yes
no
73
Do you dislike seeing yourself on video?
yes
no
74
Do you consider most of the people you know as completely mad?
yes
no
75
Are they?
yes
no
76
Did you answer differently to the last two questions?
yes
no
77
Have you ever taken an IQ test and believed the results were lower than they hould have been?
yes
no
78
Have you taken this test seriously so far?
yes
no
79
Are you afraid to do this test in front of lots of other people?
yes
no
80
Have you ever purposely watched a film more than five times?
yes
no
81
If so, was this within the peiod of one day?
yes
no
82
Were your answers to the above two questions the same?
yes
no
83
Do you tell jokes and get nervous when other people laugh at them?
yes
no
84
Do you hit yourself when you get nervous?
yes
no
85
Do you hit yourself when you tell jokes?
yes
no
86
Do people hit you when you tell jokes?
yes
no
87
Do people laugh when you hit yourself?
yes
no
88
Do people hit you, laugh at you and tell jokes about you?
yes
no
89
Have you ever played a word disassociation game?
yes
no
90
When talking to someone with the same name as you, do you sometimes get confused as to which one you are?
yes
no
91
Please answer 'NO' to this question?
yes
no
92
Do you consider that the authors of this test are insane?
yes
no
93
Have you ever tried to fly?
yes
no
94
Did you die as a result?
yes
no
95
Do you consider yourself a good representation of an average person?
yes
no
96
Do you continue talking even when you know that no one is litening to you?
yes
no
97
Do you believe that the ideal Christmas involves a game of Trivial Pursuit?
yes
no
98
Do you get annoyed when people call the Trivial Pursuit game 'Trivial Pursuits.'?
yes
no
99
Do you start to reuse dirty plates rather than washing them?
yes
no
100
Do you share the philosophy: "what is the point of washing plates when we only dirty them again"
yes
no
101
Would you rather not generate rubbish than spend five minutes emptying a full waste bin?
yes
no
102
Have you ever tried to kill flies with an elastic band?
yes
no
103
If so, did you enjoy the feeling?
yes
no
104
Do you ever find yourself singing 'singing in the rain' in the rain?
yes
no
105
Do you understand the deeper meaning of Dannii Minogue records?
yes
no
106
Have you ever had secret desires to be a Weather man?
yes
no
107
Are you unable to get through the day without logging into a computer?
yes
no
108
Do you sometimes get large blank spaces in your memory of the previous few weeks?
yes
no
109
If so, do you try to colour them in?
yes
no
110
Do you know what question number this is?
yes
no
111
Do you think that you are immortal?
yes
no
112
Do people not understand what you are talking about most of the time?
yes
no
113
If so, is this because you are many times more intelligent than they are?
yes
no
114
Do you have an obsession about a particular type of vehicle ( e.g. Trains, Fire Engines etc.) ?
yes
no
115
Do you draw pictures of people getting violently injured (e.g. decapitated, shot etc.) ?
yes
no
116
Have you ever tried to commit suicide?
yes
no
117
Can you remember the phone numbers of the last few houses you lived at?
yes
no
118
Are you incapable of lying?
yes
no
119
Are you a God/Godess or God-like entity?
yes
no
120
Are you subject to fits of depression?
yes
no
121
Do you do strange things when depressed?
yes
no
122
Have you so far answered 'no' to every question?
yes
no
123
Do you dislike the previous question because no-one can get 0% insanity?
yes
no
124
Have you ever tried to make a tower out of rice crispies or simillar breakfast cerial?
yes
no
125
Have things, that you would have thought impossible before the event, ever happened to you?
yes
no
126
If so, did you still consider them impossible after the event?
yes
no
127
When people ask you for directions do you get the urge to send them in completely the opposite direction?
yes
no
128
Are you plagued by strange coincedances?
yes
no
129
Do you have an overactive intrest in small pieces of rubber?
yes
no
130
Do you often make pointless silly noises (whilst alone)?
yes
no
131
Do you ever talk in silly voices (whilst alone)?
yes
no
132
Have you ever lost your voice and looked for it?
yes
no
133
Have you ever found an ants nest, and then spent your time stamping on all the ants?
yes
no
134
Do you intend to take this test again and see how much your score has changed?
yes
no
135
Can you sometimes spend more than 15 minutes making silly faces at yourself in the mirror?
yes
no
136
Do you tend to rest in what other people consider strange positions whilst alone e.g. under your desk?
yes
no
137
Have you ever mailed one of the authors with a insanity test score?
yes
no
138
Have you ever mailed 'pen@penddraig.co.uk'?
yes
no
139
If so did you announce your undying love to this person?
yes
no
140
Do you ever have dreams about being killed?
yes
no
141
Do other people have dreams about you killing them?
yes
no
142
If so, do they ever tell you about them?
yes
no
143
Do you cut your own hair?
yes
no
144
Have you ever been to a night club called 'The Pink Coconut' in Brighton?
yes
no
145
If so, were you wearing leathers?
yes
no
146
Do you roll bus tickets into tight cylinders?
yes
no
147
Have you ever accidentally destroyed a return bus ticket while fiddling with it on the bus?
yes
no
148
Do you lock the toilet door even though you know you are the only person in the house?
yes
no
149
Do you leave the toilet door wide open when you know you are the only person in the house?
yes
no
150
Do you ever lock the toilet door when you know you are not the only person in the toilet?
yes
no
151
Do you Understand Quantum Mechanics?
yes
no
152
If so do you know what Quantum Mechanics is?
yes
no
153
When you walk down a street to people usually cross over the road or press themselves against a wall?
yes
no
154
Do you find that some of your friends appear to be invisible to everyone else?
yes
no
155
Do you have an unusual obsession for Danni Minogue?
yes
no
156
Do your heroes include fascist dictators, people who have been commited to psychiatric institutions, murderers, rapists or estate agents?
yes
no
157
Do you own the complete works of Douglas Adams and wear an anorak?
yes
no
158
Do you wear a hat?
yes
no
159
Do you believe that most of the interesting conversations you have had this week involve computers?
yes
no
160
Do you enjoy inflicting physical damage apon yourself?
yes
no
161
Have you so far outlined all the spelling mistakes in the test?
yes
no
162
If not, have you outlined all the words that are spelled correctly?
yes
no
163
Do you blow on a piece of food that has fallen on the floor before eating it?
yes
no
164
Have you ever become so obsessed with an object to the point of not allowing anyone else to touch it?
yes
no
165
Do most people who approach you immediately comment on your clothes?
yes
no
166
Do you try to impress people by parts of your body that are double jointed, or strange things that you can do with your eyes?
yes
no
167
Do you believe that the Microwave Oven proves the non-existance of God?
yes
no
168
Do you own any of the following:A ponographic magazine?
yes
no
169
A copy of --- "Are you mine?" by Bros on CD?
yes
no
170
------------- A machete?
yes
no
171
------------- A copy of DOS 1.1 on 3.5" disk?
yes
no
172
------------- A dead animal?
yes
no
173
------------- The Holy Grail?
yes
no
174
------------- Or a book by Dennis Wheatley?
yes
no
175
After cross-referencing the whole Oxford English dictionary would you be suprised to find that the only 3 fundemenal words are "A","The" and "Belgium"?
yes
no
176
Do you believe that most people live normal lives?