The Goth Test

Scoring - Count 1 for each item that you have done, or each question that you can answer correctly. If you don't know the 'correct' answer then you've got it wrong.

Section 1: What *do* you look like?

yes no 01. Do you have black, purple, or white hair?
yes no 02. Do you dye your hair?
yes no 03. Do you dye your hair every 4 weeks?
yes no 04. Every week?
yes no 05. Do you have or have you ever had hair extensions
yes no 06. Is there such a thing as 'too much' hairspray?
yes no 07. Do you own more eyeliner pencils than ordinary pencils?
yes no 08. Do you wear your makeup to bed? (bonus point if you don't go to bed)
yes no 09. Could you underpin a building with your foundation?
yes no 10. Does it take you more than an hour to get ready to go out?
yes no 11. Can you put eyeliner on without using a mirror?
yes no 12. Has anyone asked you if you 'sharpen your feet'?
yes no 13. Do you have more buckles than toes?
yes no 14. Have you worn fishnet on your arms?
yes no 15. Do you set off the metal detector at airports?

Section 2: Music, Musicians, Muses

yes no 16. Do you know every Sisters of Mercy Song?
yes no 17. Can you do the actions?
yes no 18. Have you ever seen - Bauhaus?
yes no 19. The Virgin Prunes?
yes no 20. Alien Sex Fiend?
yes no 21. The Sisters of Mercy?
yes no 22. The Fields of the Nephlim (or the Nephlim)
yes no 23. Can you name the original line-up of Christain Death?
yes no yes no 24. Have you ever ligged a band on the goth list?
yes no 25. Have you ever had a pass to one of these bands?
yes no 26. Did you use it?
yes no 27. Have you been to an aftershow party with a famous goth band?
yes no 28. Were the members of the band scared of you?
yes no 29. Was the last song you heard gothic?
yes no 30. Have you been in a goth band?

Section 3: Clubs

yes no 31. Have you been to a goth club?
yes no 32. Did you stay until the end?
yes no 33. Can you slamdance?
yes no 34. Can you chicken dance?
yes no 35. Can you do the backwards & forwards bending over like Peter Murphy Dance?
yes no 36. Do you drink snakebite?
yes no 37. Did you go to the Batcave?
yes no 38. Are you on the guest list?
yes no 39. Are you on first name terms with the DJ
yes no 40. Are you the DJ?

Section 4: The Undead

yes no 41. Have you got naturally pointy teeth?
yes no 42. Have you worn plastic vampire teeth other than at Halloween.
yes no 43. Did you pick someone up as a result?
yes no 44. Have you had sex with the undead?
yes no 45. Have you been to the Wiredog Club (or equivalent)
yes no 46. Are you a vampire?
yes no 47. How do you do your makeup if you haven't got a reflection?
yes no 48. Have you ever drunk blood?
yes no 49. Have you ever drunk human blood?
yes no 50. From a glass?

Section 5: On the road

yes no 51. Have you ever been in a following?
yes no 52. Did you ever follow Southern Death Cult, Play Dead, X-Mal, The Sisters?
yes no 53. Have you contributed to a fanzine?
yes no 54. Have you edited a fanzine?
yes no 55. Have you sold a fanzine?

Section 6: At the movies

yes no 56. Have you seen The Hunger?
yes no 57. Have you seen Return of the Living Dead?
yes no 58. Have you seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
yes no 59. Have you seen the Addams Family (TV Show)?
yes no 60. Do you think it's better than the Munsters?

Section 7: Hardercore than thou?

yes no 61. Do you own...A Tarot Deck?
yes no 62. ... Lots of weird silver jewelry?
yes no 63. ... Mainly black clothes?
yes no 64. ... More boots than shoes?
yes no 65. ... An original copy of Walk Away (with the flexi)?
yes no 66. ... An inflatable banana?
yes no 67. Have you ever been called a goth?
yes no 68. Did you deny it?
yes no 69. Do you ever refer to other people as mini-goths or quantum-goths?
yes no 70. Do you get upset when it rains, but still sing 'I love the rain?'
yes no 71. Have you been on alt.gothic since it started?
yes no 72. Have you actually read Shelley?
yes no 73. Do you have a fetish?
yes no 74. Have you flirted with magick or alternative religions?
yes no 75. Do you object fundamentally to this test even though you scored over 80 points on it?

Section 8: What's the difference between a Casual and a Redneck?

yes no 76. Do the people you meet on the streets often ask you if you're on your way to a funeral?
yes no 77. Do you encounter carloads of people who make sarcastic comments about the fact that Halloween is X months away?
yes no 78. Do your teachers, peers, etc., often recommend that you see a counselor?
yes no 79. Do you have a pet snake, spider, or a reasonable facsimile thereof?
yes no 80. Have you painted your bedroom black?
yes no 81. Are your parents/friends afraid that you've committed suicide if you stay in your room for more than an hour at a time?
yes no 82. Do you habitually wear dark sunglasses, at all hours of the day?
yes no 83. Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name on the net? (i.e. made up)
yes no 84. Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name in real life? (i.e. made up)
yes no 85. Is there any difference between a Casual and a Redneck?
yes no 86. Have you ever been propositioned by a drunk Casual/Redneck?
yes no 87. Did you hospitalise them?
yes no 88. Did you hospitalise them in a really messy way?
yes no 89. Have you ever gone up to a bunch of these people and said 'What the F**k do you think you're looking at?'
yes no 90. Do you have the scars to prove it?

Section 9: Brown Questions (Art & Literature)

yes no 91. Have you read any Poe?
yes no 92. ................. Dante?
yes no 93. ................. Shelley?
yes no 94. Do you know: Who was 'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know?'
yes no 95. Can you tell the difference between Norman and Gothic Churches?
yes no 96. Have you read any Lovecraft?
yes no 97. ................. Gothic Novels?
yes no 98. ................. de Sade?
yes no 99. Do you like pre-rapheltie or romantic art?
yes no 100. Have you heard Verdi's Requiem?

Section 10: Courtesy of the University of London Union Old Goth Barstaff soc.

yes no 101. Can you name all the bands on the Merciful Release label?
yes no 102. Do you know what the Birthday Party were called before they were called The Birthday Party?
yes no 103. Who play 'House Music for Goths?'
yes no 104. Do you own a pair of crimpers?
yes no 105. Do you tie an obscene number of scarves to your waist?
yes no 106. Do you know what this signifies?
yes no 107. Have you ever been part of a pyramid?
yes no 108. Do you know the name of Eldritch's cat?
yes no 109. Does God drive a white Merc?
yes no 110. Who's the fairest of them all?

Section 11: Drugs

yes no 111. Do you or have you ever smoked?
yes no 112. ..............................Clove, Marlborough, or Death?
yes no 113. Have you ever had speed before breakfast?
yes no 114. ....................... instead of breakfast?
yes no 115. Is caffine more important than sunlight?